I'm going to skip right over the fact that there is no such thing as "Types 2" diabetes (OK, I'm not gonna skip over it, this is a fucking listing, why don't you read your damn entry?). Since when is suffering from diabetes, asthma or bipolar disorder a career? I've got split personalities — I'm a Gemini. Where's my 401K? Wanna pay me 75 big ones a year to be mildly insulin dependent and not overload on Gummi Worms? Sign me up. And no, I don't have uncontrolled asthma, but my allergies go bat shit crazy this time of year and when I can't catch my breath it sounds like a wheeze, plus I used to do youth theater, so I can act like I have asthma. Hell, I'll be your employee of the fucking year if you offer a competitive benefits package.
None of that shit's on my resume. Why? Cuz they're not jobs, ass hole. Don't be posting this shit in the Medical Care section of the Craig's List job boards like it's some kind of career opportunity. This is a down economy. You start advertising you're looking to add sick folk to the payroll, before you can say "One Touch changes everything," a bunch of type twos will be lined up around the block trying to become type ones. Up to $1,500 just to be bipolar? Patty Duke's on line one.
NOT A JOB, FOLKS. NOT A JOB.
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