Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Can you operate a black light? Can you spot first signs of an overdose? Melrose Spa is hiring.


Jennifer Love Hewitt makes the rubdowns seem downright sexy on The Client List. But the only rubdown you'll want after your first shift at Melrose Spa is a Silkwood shower with a loofah doused in Fabuloso. Melrose Spa is hiring for cashiers (i.e. telling strung out queens their Ralphs Rewards Cards ain't good there), floor attendants (holding black lights up to beds to see if they're clean enough for one more round), and security guards (who doesn't want to carry a fire arm in an enclosed space filled with poppers and crack pipes?).

If you work the graveyard shift, you make more money. Translation — if you work the shift in which people actually go to a bathhouse, and you don't mind dealing with the occasional DAILY overdose for an extra buck seventy-five an hour, then you and Andy Dick have found your dream job.

No comments:

Post a Comment